11/29/11

A Met Fan's Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

I know that I might not believe in you, and I also know that I may not go to the church that celebrates your holiday, but I still thought I'd send you a note. Every year you look at your list to try and decide which gentile children are naughty and which ones are nice. I'm writing you on behalf of all those NICE fans of the New York fans. I'm pretty sure that I can speak for all of us when I say I know what we want.


  • Jose Reyes Signs to Stay in Queens: Met fans have put up with a lot over the past few years. We had Luis Castillo, Oliver Perez and a closer who hurt the elderly. We even had to deal with a friendly Canadian outfielder who no longer hits the ball. Must we deal with losing one of our favorite players because two Jewish fellas who invested their money poorly own the team? #7 leading off in our stockings would be worth a stadium filled with Milk and Cookies.


  • David Wright Extension: Keeping Reyes is high on our list but it just won't be the same if #7 isn't standing next to #5 on the left side of the infield. Surely there is enough good will to keep both of our guys in the fold. I mean it's not like we're asking for a bee-bee gun that will put our eyes out.


  • Health, Wellness and Good Will Towards Prospects: Ike Davis, Johan Santana and Daniel Murphy need to stay healthy and productive for the whole of the season. To this meagre list I add Jenrry Mejia who is recovering from Tommy John surgery. The Mets have not had great luck in the health department lately and it would mean a lot to us fans if they could have a bit of your magical protection... maybe a few elves could join the medical staff.


  • Perhaps a Little Christmas in July: Nothing big... you know... just an All-Star 2nd baseman, and an Ace or two coming up from the farm in a timely way where they actually succeed in the majors.
Oh... and maybe a hula hoop.

1 comment:

David Groveman said...

Or a plane that loops the loop.

Seriously, why must I be surrounded by this music for 3 months every year?